Comparing

I was participating in a Bible study called "Can We Talk?" by Priscilla Shirer this summer and the topic of comparing came up. It must have been something that God wanted me to hear, because it not only stuck with me, but God kept bringing other Scriptures to mind. There are so many ways that people compare themselves to others and it rarely ends well. Either they begin to think that they are better than the other person and vanity and arrogance surface, or they see themselves as inadequate and their self-esteem plummets. The cure is to see ourselves the way that God sees us.

Physical appearance is a huge area of comparison. I'm not as slender as that woman. I'm not as pretty as another. I wish I had her hair. The list can go on and on. If you talk to just about any woman and ask her to list her physical "faults" she could rattle several off in a heartbeat, but if you ask her to tell you how she's beautiful, she may have to think for a while. Why is that?  In Psalm 139:13-16 it talks about how God formed us before we were born. It says:

For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.

I was thinking recently that when God formed me, He didn't step back, gasp and say "I made a mistake!" God created me to look exactly the way I do, so why do I wish His design away? We know that God looks at our heart and not our outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7) so shouldn't I be more concerned about what my inward beauty looks like? Have you ever met someone who you thought was beautiful, but you got to know them and they were rude, selfish, arrogant, and mean? One day you look at them and wonder what made you think they were beautiful. On the other hand, you meet someone who is "average" looking, but they're sweet, loyal, and kind and one day you realize how beautiful they really are. Our inner beauty shows through and can alter our outer appearance. Besides that, my looks will change as I age, but I can still be beautiful in God's eyes and that's what I long to be.

Talent is another area of comparison. No matter what I'm good at, I can find someone who does it better. I can complain that I don't sing as well as someone else and refuse to sing, or I can realize that God can still use my voice in a variety of capacities and be willing to serve Him where He leads. My writing is okay. Others write much better, but I keep plugging at it and striving to improve. I need to not be concerned about being "the best" and instead be busy to use what God has given me to His glory.

The one that always gets me is when I hear people comparing spiritual gifts. This has been going on since the early church was formed. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul describes the church as a body with many members. He says in verse 21, "And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.”' Sometimes I see people who seem to think that other members are unnecessary, because they have great pride in their own gift and feel they can handle everything. More often, I see the opposite though. Verse 15 says, "If the foot says, “Because I am not a hand, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any the less a part of the body." There are those who think that they aren't necessary for the working of the body. They wish they had a different gift, but forget that God chose for them to have that particular gift to perform a specific task, service, or ministry. 

A gall bladder can seem like an insignificant part of the body, but I can tell you from experience that when it doesn't perform it's duty, it hurts the entire body! Unlike our human bodies, there are no surgeries to remove organs from the body of Christ. You may think that your gift isn't important, but when you don't use it, the body of Christ suffers and will continue to suffer, because you are an integral part of the working and cannot be removed. God will not remove you, You cannot remove yourself and no one else can remove you either. If you think about how God gave each one of us a specific gift in a specific place at a specific time to be used in a specific way, it's absolutely phenomenal! What would happen if everyone in the body of Christ used their gift in the way that God intended? I think we would see amazing things happen!

We need to stop looking around and look up. See ourselves the way God sees us. Do what God intended for us to do. Let God work through us and give Him the glory!

Dedication: Always a Bridesmaid

This is one of my closest friends in the world, Meghan James. I met her in youth group and we have a lot of interesting stories from youth trips. But Meg is more than my friend. She's my sister - not by blood or by marriage - but by heart. My kids call her "Tia Meghan" (tia is aunt in Spanish) and she is at any of their events that she can possibly make it to. She's been on family vacations with us and when people ask if it was weird, the answer is no, because she's family, too.

We have so much history together. Not only have we been on youth trips together, but we've taken numerous girls trips together and we have lofty ambitions of many more trips that finances and time have made impossible for now. She was my maid of honor when I got married and sang during our ceremony. She was in the waiting room as I gave birth to my first child and was one of the first to see her. We've watched countless movies together and shared books that the other one "has" to read (she stretches me beyond my comfort zone when it comes to reading). We've run through grass in our bare feet, played in the ocean, watched plays, sang duets (one of them so fantastically awful it was wonderful), ridden amusement park rides, been on long road trips, been to sporting events, helped each other move, cooked wonderfully amazing grilled cheese sandwiches (and other foods as well), and channel our "inner child" together (like when we tuck our arms into our shirts so that only our hands stick out and stomp around like a t-rex).

There's so much more than our shared fun together though. Meghan is the person that I can call at any moment of the day when my world begins to collapse and she will drop everything and come running. We've had deep conversations and we've vented our frustrations to each other and somehow after spending some time in her company everything starts to look better. Meg will text me as soon as she sees something on Facebook that may cause distress in the family and let me know that she's praying for us and that if I even need anything she's there. The thing is, it's not an empty promise either. If I were to call her because I needed to talk, she would sit and talk with me for as long as I needed her. If I needed her with me, she'd be over as soon as she could - probably with a pint of ice cream or some chocolate as well.

On top of that, Meghan is probably one of the smartest people I know. When Elizabeth Ludwig looked over my first book to give me some advice, one of the things she mentioned was how good my grammar was. I credit Meghan with that. Mom and Ashley tend to find my contextual errors and tell me when things aren't clear. Meghan finds where I use commas inappropriately (all the time) and where my wording is wrong. It amazes me how all three of these women can edit the same book and they all find different errors. Beyond her incredible knowledge of grammar and the English language, she is also well versed in literature, has traveled to many different countries, learned other languages, can sing, knows history, art, science, and math.

I feel like I could go on and on about how amazing this woman is! She's such a wonderful friend, and it's just who she is. She's a wonderful friend to me, but there are countless people who will read this and nod their head in agreement, because she's been there for them at the drop of a hat as well. She is just so immensely sweet and always willing to help. I'm so thankful that God brought her into my life and that I get to call her my sister and my friend. Thank you, Meghan, for all of your help and encouragement! I love you dearly, my friend!