I'm doing a Beth Moore
study right now called "Entrusted" on the book of 2 Timothy. She
discusses the idea of spiritual parents and spiritual mentors who have shaped
us like Paul with Timothy. I was trying to think of who would be my mentor outside
of the people in my family (who have certainly had a huge role in who I've
become). It took me a while to figure out who it would be, and I think it's
because I had the idea of a formal mentoring program in mind. I thought of
mentoring as something where we specifically choose each other for the purpose
of being mentored or mentoring someone else. There would obviously be a Bible
study, and we would have a calendar with a set time to get together every week
so she could impart all of her wisdom to me. I'm not saying that those
situations are bad or not biblical, but I did have a mentor, and it didn't look
like that. In fact, all it looked like was friendship.
Lyn Pickering was my youth leader's wife and is
now one of my very dearest friends. Lyn was so great with the youth girls
because she simply befriended them. She wrapped her arms around them and made
them feel loved and welcomed. It wasn't only me that she did this with. Every
single girl that entered her youth group Lyn tried to make feel at home. In the
process of being my friend, she taught me so much.
It was Lyn who taught me to bake bread. One year
our ladies retreat had a bread-of-life theme. Lyn and I made bread wreaths for
every table, bread for decoration, and bread for a skit (which we wrote
together). She also taught me to sew, and Lyn, being who she is, didn't have me
make something common like a quilt or bag. We made 19th century women's
undergarments — pantaloons and camisoles. Because what's the fun in making
something normal?
Lyn has shown me what true hospitality looks
like. The Pickering home always seems to have some sort of renovation being
done, and since her husband does all the work himself, the projects take time.
She could refuse to have people over because of the dust and chaos, but she
opens her home as it is. I found that I didn't care what her house looked like
because I simply wanted to spend time with her. I learned that a grilled cheese
sandwich (with three slices of cheese to make it extra gooey) can be better
than a five course meal. She's not entertaining me when I come over; she's
welcoming her friend into her home, which means she doesn't feel the need to
try to impress.
I don't know how many times Lyn and I would stay
up all hours of the night talking. Yes, we discussed spiritual things, but
often we talked about movies, books, boys, and trivia. Those times were
precious, and it made a teenage girl, and later a young woman, feel like she
had someone who would listen to anything she needed to discuss. She was my
support. The woman I could go to if I needed to vent, cry, or laugh.
After I was out of the youth group, Lyn found
out she was going to have another baby. She already had two teenage boys so it
was a bit of a surprise to everyone. (My loving reaction was to laugh
hysterically.) It turned out that just five months after her daughter was born,
I had my first baby. (Our girls are best buddies to this day.) Being with Lyn
during her pregnancy and then watching her care for her baby was so helpful for
a first time mom. She made me much more relaxed and calm as I entered
motherhood than I would have been without her example to emulate.
In her study, Beth Moore said that spiritual
daughters are not exact replicas of their spiritual mothers. That's certainly
true of Lyn and me. When I first entered the youth group, Lyn couldn't stand
me. I was obnoxious and immature, but she didn't let me know she felt that way
until after she genuinely liked me. Lyn is loud, outgoing, and ready to try
anything (and the weirder it is the better). I am much quieter, shy, and
cautious. Lyn says that if we were both to enter a room full of people that
neither of us had met, her reaction would be to find out how many people she
could meet before we had to leave, while mine would be to wonder how long we
had to stay before we could leave.
Being around her pulled me out of my comfort zone because she wouldn't let me
stand by the door and be a wallflower. Instead, she'd take me by the hand and
pull me along with her.
Lyn was never afraid to admonish us if she felt
we needed it. But for me, it never affected our friendship. I knew it was
because she loved me. She wanted me to grow in the Lord, to choose what was
right, and to succeed in the race we're running for Him.
Best of all, Lyn has been a huge encouragement
to me. It was Lyn who first encouraged me to start writing. When she read what
I had written, her enjoyment of it pushed me to write more and eventually to
pursue publishing. I wouldn't be where I am now without her. When my church
asked me to co-direct vacation Bible school with my sister, I went to Lyn
feeling incredibly inept and unqualified. She reminded me of how God had been
preparing me for years to do what He was now calling me to do. Her
encouragement helped me to remember two things. First, God does not call you to
something that He has not equipped you for. Second, yes I was going to be in
over my head even with His equipping, and that was so that I would rely on Him
and not on myself. If I could do it on my own, then I would get the glory. When
I have to depend on Him, He gets all the glory. Lyn put me at ease to do what I
had been called to do.
Who was your spiritual mother or mentor? I'm
guessing that there are many others that had mentoring that looked a lot like
friendship, just like mine did. If you are able to, maybe you can send them a
note or give them a call to let them know what they've meant to you. Beyond
that, who can you be a mentor to? You don't have to know everything. You don't
have to be perfect (in fact, it's better if you're not). You don't have sit
down and pass on your vast stores of wisdom. You simply need to find someone
and be their friend. Pray about who God wants you to mentor and simply take the
opportunities that He provides. If He is in it, great things will happen.
