Memorial Stones: Second chances

The first memorial stones in the book of Joshua were reminding the Israelites of God's faithfulness while the second reminded them of their own unfaithfulness and the consequences that follow. The third reminded them of second chances.

After the defeat that Israel experienced at Ai because of sin in the camp, it was time to go against Ai again. This time Joshua sought the Lord's plan before attacking. Israel was successful and this time followed God's plans. Joshua set up a heap of stones over the body of the defeated king as a memorial. Israel had been given a second chance to defeat Ai. The first time sin had caused them to fail, but they succeeded during the second time because they had followed God's will for them.

If we look back at those memorial stones that remind us of our unfaithfulness, I'm guessing that nearby there is a memorial stone of second chances.

When we sin and repent, we will be given a second chance. Sometimes it's a second chance to avoid the temptation that ensnared us in the first place. Sometimes it's a second chance to repair damaged relationships. It could be a second chance to make amends in some way. Perhaps we'll have a second chance to do what we ought to have done in the first place. Whatever the opportunity we get, I'm so thankful that God doesn't just give up on us when we fail, but gives us the chance to make it right.

Some commentators believe that part of Israel's defeat at Ai was due to Joshua not seeking the Lord's will in the first place. The first attack, he sent spies, but there's no indication that he inquired of the Lord. The second attack, Joshua received a battle plan from the Lord and followed that in his attack. Joshua was given a second chance to get the correct battle plan. Sometimes that's how we get a second chance, too. We plunge into a situation thinking we have it under control only to fail. In my case, I generally find that I fail spectacularly. Then we regroup, we seek God's help, and we get a second chance to do it the way He wanted us to in the beginning. When we refuse to go where God is leading, He often gives us a second chance to go down the path He had intended for us to travel.

We will be unfaithful to God - whether because of sin or because we choose to do things our own way. But God gives second (and third and fourth) chances. When we look back on our failures, we can also see where He allowed us the opportunity to do it again and get it right.

Memorial Stones: Unfaithfulness & Consequences

While the first "heap of stones" in Joshua was to remind Israel of God's faithfulness, the second was to remind them of their own unfaithfulness and the consequences that arise from it. The Israelites had just defeated Jericho and were feeling pretty confident. So their defeat at Ai came as a shock. When Joshua asked the Lord why they had been defeated, he found that the camp had been defiled. Eventually, it was discovered the Achan had been tempted by the wealth of Jericho and had decided to take some for himself - something that God had specifically told them not to do. Achan was sentenced to death and a heap of stones was placed on top to remind Israel to remain faithful to God.

I have memorial stones set up in my mind at the places where I've experienced God's discipline for several reasons. The first is clear. It reminds me not to go down that road again. I can look back and see the pain I was in, the distance I was from God, the problems that I caused, and know that I never want to experience that again.

Second, those stones remind me to tell others about the experience. Not to glorify my sin, but to teach others not to go down that path. I know that some will have to experience it for themselves, but hopefully there are people who hear my story and change their own course. One of those experiences that  I've spoken of before was a time that I struggled with unforgiveness. I had been hurt - repeatedly. I knew that the ones who had done it would never apologize, most likely they didn't even realize what they had done. But I held onto every offense. I lived it over and over and over again. One day I had to admit that I had grown bitter. God reminded me of how much He had forgiven me. How could I not forgive them for the little they had done to me? It wasn't easy. I had grown used to wallowing in self-pity as I replayed all that had been done to me. I sort of enjoyed it in a sick and twisted way. Whenever I started rehashing it all over again, God would nudge me, and I would begin to pray. I would pray that He would help me not only forgive, but forget. I prayed that He would forgive me again. And (perhaps hardest of all) I would pray for the people that hurt me. Today, most of those hurts are just vague, fuzzy memories and many of them, I can't even recall at all. I don't want others to have to suffer through the bitterness that I did if I can help them.

Third it helps to keep me from getting arrogant. It's so easy to find fault in others, and so easy to overlook or excuse my own faults. If I find myself feeling pretty proud of my own "goodness", all it takes is a glance over to the memorial stones of unfaithfulness to remind me that any good in me is from Him. On my own, I'm just a sinner. With Him, I'm a daughter of the King. That's humbling, and helps me to keep my focus on God instead of me.

Just to be clear, these are memorial stones that I glance at on occasion when I need the reminder. I don't go sit at them. I don't set up camp in these places. Nothing good comes from that. Staying long in these places can make one feel like they are incapable of change, and then they find themselves falling again. That guilt that creeps in and tells us that God can't possibly love us because of this is a lie. None of us are "worthy" of God's love, but He gives it anyway. None of us "deserve" to be forgiven, but He offers it freely. He doesn't want us to stay in those places. He wants us to learn and grow. He wants us to move on.

We fail, we fall, but God is faithful. We can look back on our times where we weren't faithful to learn, to teach others and to remain humble. But even in those places, God is faithful. I'm so glad that He is always faithful and that His faithfulness doesn't rely on mine.

Memorial Stones: God's Faithfulness

I'm reading through the book of Joshua right now. There are seven times where Joshua sets up stones as a memorial of an event. Each one has it's own meaning, but they all serve the same purpose. "And he said to the people of Israel, "When your children ask their fathers in times to come, 'What do these stones mean?' then you shall let your children know,..." (Joshua 4:21-22a) We do the same thing today. Washington DC is full of memorials so that when we take our children and they ask, "What does this one mean?", we can tell them about Abraham Lincoln or World War II or countless other events or leaders. My children ask me every time they see a flag at half mast, "What happened? What does this mean?" Memorials are a great way to remind future generations of past events.

Joshua's first memorial was placed after the nation of Israel had crossed the Jordan River. (By the way, it's only after Israel crossed the Jordan that they are referred to as a 'nation' in the Bible.) The river was at flood stage, yet God provided a way for them to cross. He stopped the flow of the water so that they could safely enter the Promised Land - just as He had allowed their parents to cross the Red Sea a generation ago as He led them out of Egypt. Joshua wanted them to tell their children, "...Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.' For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the people of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever." (Joshua 4:22b-24)

Joshua wanted the memorial to teach the future generations that God was faithful. God kept His promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. God freed them from Egypt "with a mighty hand and outstretched arm". God led them through the wilderness, remaining faithful to them when they were faithless. And now God had brought them over into the land that He was giving them.

I don't think that it was coincidence that this memorial was set up before Israel fought their first battle. Memorials not only point us to the past, but give us hope for the future. As Israel went forward into battle, they were aware of what God had already done for them. And if God had led them safely to this point, then surely He would be faithful to the end. They had just seen for themselves what God was capable of doing and they had heard of the things that God had done in the past. All that remained was to see how God would fight for them in the future.

It goes beyond just ourselves and our children though. Joshua said, ". . . so that all the people of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, . . . " They would hear what had been done, and know more about the one true God because of it. And through that, maybe they would want to worship this God, too.

At a ladies event one time, the speaker talked about this passage and setting up our own memorial stones. She suggested creating a rock garden with a new rock for each time God was so apparent that we had to give all the honor to Him. She said that you could even write on the rock to remember what it stood for. Or get a jar to fill with small rocks. The purpose of these was the same as Joshua's, so that when our children ask about it (or neighbors or family or friends) we could say, "Look what God has done! He is faithful!" I don't think it has to be rocks for that matter. Anything physical that can point to God's faithfulness would work: a collection, a journal, Bible notes, scrapbook, quilts - whatever you feel led to do.

When has God shown His faithfulness to you (perhaps even when you weren't being faithful to Him)? What have you done or can you do to remind yourself about that time? What can you do to make sure that others know about it?

Life is Precious

It's an overused saying. It's nearly lost all meaning.Usually you hear it when someone passes away unexpectedly - life is precious. But do we believe it? I feel like it takes those tragedies for us to remember just how precious - and fragile - life is.

I'm no different from everyone else. The reason why this is on my mind is because someone I knew suddenly passed away this week. She had longed for a baby and been told that she couldn't have one, but miraculously, she gave birth to a healthy baby. She had five days with her precious new life before she lost her own. Life is precious. Her life was precious. Her baby's life is precious.

I get so busy. Life moves so fast. I look at my children and can literally see time passing. Calendar pages turn. Each day is ticked off. We anticipate certain dates and countdown to them only for them to pass quickly by and fade into the past. I can almost sigh with King Solomon as he says, "Vanity of vanities! All is vanity."

If life is precious, what can we do that matters in the world? Life is vapor (James 4:14). It's here and it's gone. We don't know what tomorrow brings. Sometimes it can feel that we struggle and work for nothing. What is the point? Solomon summed it up nicely in Ecclesiastes 12:13. "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man."

1 - "Fear God". God is the same yesterday, today and forever (Heb.13:8) He is the all-knowing, all-powerful, sovereign God of the universe. He alone is worthy of praise. He executes justice and yet is merciful. He protects and provides. God is to be feared as the ultimate Judge, and He is to be respected as the King of kings. When we place God where He ought to be placed, when we revere and honor Him, when we allow Him to be in charge, life looks different. It's not that it's easier, or that we never question why certain things happen, but we can trust that He's control and that He has a plan and a purpose - even if we never see it.

2 - "Keep his commandments". There are many commandments: honor your father and mother, remember the Sabbath and keep it holy, you shall not bear false witness - and those are just part of the ten commandments. What about the other commandments? Which ones were for Israel and which apply to the church? Or are they all for both? Every commandment falls under the "Great Commandment". Lawyers asked Jesus which commandment was the greatest commandment. Matthew 22:37-40 says, "And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Love God with every part of your being and you'll live your life in obedience to His Word. Love others as yourself, and you'll follow the rest of the laws. Loving God you'll put Him first, you'll want to please Him. Loving others you'll put their interests above your own. Those two things could change the world.

That's all. That's what matters. If we fear God and keep His commands, we'd spread the Gospel which can change lives. We'd love others so strongly that the world couldn't help but see Him. We'd be bold in the Spirit. We'd be a people of prayer because we'd finally understand the power that is found when go to the Almighty God with our requests. We'd want to know His Word so that we could follow Him. The church would look so different - I would look so different. 

Life is precious. Fear God. Keep His commandments. That is the whole duty of man.

When a Book is Done

I just finished writing my seventh book. I've gone beyond being surprised that this is what I do to having a sense of familiarity - most of the time.

As I'm finishing writing a book there's always a moment of a feeling that this has been a complete waste of my time, that I've written a story that makes no sense and serves no purpose. It's a feeling that I have to power through. I remind myself that I'm where I believe God wants me to be, and if I'm doing what He wants me to, then it's never worthless. So I finish it regardless of my feelings.

When it's completed I do a read through to correct any errors I find in grammar or plot. Sometimes I may add more detail that I didn't have at the time of writing. I may add another scene or two. Usually as I read through it I have a sense of re-reading a much beloved book, one written by someone else. I'm astounded that a story that I would love to read came from me. It's an odd feeling.

After that, I send it out to my editors. When I read through my books, I know what I meant to say so I sometimes miss obvious typos. My brain automatically fixes what I wrote, and I don't even see it. So I have multiple eyes check my work before I publish it. They also tell me when they don't understand something or when I've changed a name or a plot point and didn't fix it throughout. Even with four of us going through the work, I know that we don't catch every mistake, but we do our best. Considering we're all amateurs I think we do pretty well.

When I get their notes back, I fix my errors and get the book formatted to be published. I add a table of contents, add a letter to my readers a dedication page, and a Bible verse. I go order a cover to be made. Then I'm ready to post it on Amazon Kindle and it's available to purchase.

My seventh book is my second Christmas novella. I'm hoping to have it available to purchase by November. This is the first book that when I've finished I feel like I missed something somewhere. I don't know where it is, but I just sense that there was a point that I was on the verge of making that somehow got missed - maybe that I missed the point of the whole book. There's also a major plot point that I got to the end and feel like it just doesn't work. I've never had this before and honestly it makes me nervous. I wonder if it wasn't the time for me to work on this story, or if I've gotten so comfortable with the process that maybe I didn't rely on God as much as normal, and so He wasn't leading like He has. This story has been on my mind for three years, and yet it's caused me so much difficulty. I don't know what I'm going to discover when I go to do the read through.

I never like to start the read through. It's always a bit frightening to read what I've written because I'm scared that I'll find out it wasn't as good as I thought it was. But what happens when you're not even sure it's any good? It's going to be hard to make myself sit down and look through it.

If you would, I would like some prayer. Prayer does amazing things, and when we all band together and pray in unison, it's even more awesome. Pray that God will direct as I do my read through. I want everything I do to honor and glorify Him. I don't want this to be done in my strength and my ability. I want Him to shine through in every page. Pray that I am open to His leading. Pray that this story will touch lives somehow. This is my goal. It's all meaningless if it doesn't honor God.

Abba, Father

We just celebrated Father's Day, and I have been blessed to have some amazing fathers in my life. My  father, my grandfathers, my father-in-law and my husband are all men who I love to celebrate on this holiday because of the way that they have guided, loved, protected, and cared for me and my children. I got to thinking this year about how they remind me of how God is my Father.

Growing up, I quickly learned that one of my father's roles was disciplinarian. My dad likes to tell people about how early I found out that a sweet little "I love you, Daddy" could get me out of trouble, but it didn't take long before my dad saw through my actions and realized that he had to discipline me. He loved me and he needed to teach me right from wrong. My dad likes to explain the difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is training one to act a certain way. It can involve punishment, or it can be encouragement, advice, or direction. Punishment is a penalty for an offense committed. Punishment without discipline is a dangerous way to parent. Giving a penalty for an offense without guidance in why the behavior was wrong, what the better choice would have been, and an assurance of love is not likely to succeed in long term behavioral changes. More likely it will cause rebellion. But when punishment is coupled with discipline a child learns from their mistakes and understands why they are being punished. My dad always talked to us when he had to punish us. To be honest, that was the worst part of the punishment for me because I couldn't stand knowing that I had let my dad down. He would discuss with us what we had done, what we should have done, and let us know that he loved us - and then he would hand out the punishment that we deserved. It's not a fun part of parenting, but it's an important part. God is a disciplinarian. Hebrews 12:6 says, "For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It's because of His love for us that He disciplines us, and He only punishes those that belong to Him. A parent only disciplines their own child. It's a sign that we are children of God when we've been chastened by Him. Sometimes it might be a gentle a prod, a reminder of Scripture, an admonition from a friend or loved one. Sometimes it might be more serious - oftentimes it's the normal consequences of our actions. The difference between God and my earthly father is that my dad eventually had to allow me to go out in the world and not be directly under his authority anymore. I am always under God's authority! The author of Hebrews goes on to say in verse 10, "For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness." I will never be perfect on this earth, but God will always be correcting me to continue teaching me what it means to be holy.

I was born into my earthly family. I belonged to them because of genetics. My father-in-law sort of "adopted" me into his family. I have his name although I don't have his genetics because I married his son. He has always made me feel as if I truly belonged to the Lyman family. God is my Father, not because I was born into His family. I was born a sinner, separated from God. Instead I was adopted through His grace into His family. Galatians 4:4-7 says, "But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." Although I got the name "Lyman" through marriage, I didn't have to earn it. I didn't have to buy it, pass a test, prove I was worthy, or get a degree. Once I married Joel, I was automatically part of the family. In the same way, I don't earn my position in God's family. I didn't have to give my money, prove I was holy, perform any religious rites, or go to Bible school. God redeemed me  when I was still lost in my sins. As soon as I believed in Him, I became His child. This is my favorite part. I am a daughter of the King of kings and Lord of lords. The Almighty God, Creator of the universe, not only knows who I am, but welcomed me into His family because He loves me. Not only that, but I'm not a second class citizen, but an heir of God! Doesn't that just give you goosebumps? 

Our son is the spitting image of his father. They have the same impish smile, the same twinkling eyes, the same mannerisms - they even walk the same as a friend just pointed out the other day. They share the same DNA. I do not much resemble my Heavenly Father, but one day I will. Every day He is teaching me to be more like Him, but someday our family bond will be apparent to all. In 1 John 3:2 it says, "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is." When He returns, I will be like Him finally and no one will be able to question that I belong to Him. Sometimes I don't look much like Him, and there are people who could say that I must not be part of God's family because they don't see a resemblance. I hate that. But someday, I will look so much like my Father that there will be no doubt that I belong to Him.

One thing that all of the fathers in my life have in common is love. They love me, they love our family, they love my children. It's love that motivates them to be such wonderful fathers - to care, love, protect, guide. It is love that prompted God to adopt us. 1 John 3:1 says, "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him." It was in His love that He gave His life for us. We didn't deserve it, but He loved us anyway. In 1 John 4:19 it says, "We love because he first loved us." It was His love that drew us to Him. He loved us before He created the world! It was only in response to His love that we loved Him back. 1 John 4:7-8 tells us, "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." God loved us because He is love. If we want to look like our Father, we should also demonstrate love. Now, we already read that love doesn't prevent God from disagreeing with us or punishing us. In fact, it's the opposite. God disciplines us because He is love. Our world today doesn't understand that. We can demonstrate God's love even when we disagree. But our love should be so apparent that others can see God in us. 

I know that not everyone got a glimpse of their heavenly Father in their earthly father. The men in my life aren't perfect any more than I am perfect. They did their best, but they sometimes made mistakes. When we brought home our first child from the hospital, my husband told me that we had to understand that we were going to make mistakes, but we had to pray that whatever mistakes we made wouldn't be severe. Maybe  your dad didn't resemble God at all. Maybe you didn't have a dad around. Even if you never got a chance to experience these things in a human father, you can still experience it in God. 

Happy Father's Day!

Publishing Package

I took a leap of faith. It's scary and it will be a while before I see what happens from this decision. Right now, my writing is more a hobby than anything else. Yes, I get paid, but the amount I get from book sales basically covers the cost of hiring someone to design my book covers. So it was time to see if writing is ever going to be my occupation or will always be a hobby.

In publishing today, they don't accept unsolicited manuscripts - at least not often. You either need to hire an agent or prove yourself by publishing independently. Publishing on Kindle is cost effective, but it's easy to get lost and hard to get noticed. Publishing with a company is expensive, but you get professional services included. I've done Kindle and it was a fantastic way for me to start. When I first put Best Laid Plans on Kindle, it was the scariest thing I've ever done. Here was a work that I had spent years on. I had put part of myself into it. Now, it was available for anyone to purchase, to read, to judge, to criticize. It placed me in a vulnerable position - and I hate being vulnerable.

Readers have been kind to me though. I don't have many reviews, but the ones that I have are positive and any negative comments are thoughtful and helpful. My fears were unfounded and I've become comfortable. I've found that God doesn't let you remain comfortable for very long. Soon He asks you to take another step of faith. I don't know if others have this issue, but God has to prod me into the next step every single time. I like my little comfort zone and stepping out is scary. God pokes me, urges me, send others to poke me and urge me, until finally I recognize what needs to happen and I (tentatively) step forward.

My husband and I had been saving some money for a vacation, but one thing after another happened that made it impossible for us to go. One day, Joel noticed that we had enough saved up for a publishing package from a professional company. He suggested that we use the vacation money for that instead. Right after that, one of the self-publishing companies got in contact with me and was having a sale. It just seemed too coincidental to be ignored. When Joel asked me if I'd thought about it I had to admit that things seemed to be lining up for me to move forward.

Yet, I still hesitated.

I was comfy. I was content. I was curious to see what would happen, and I definitely wanted to hold one of my books in my hand. But just like when I published my first book, the fears rose. What if I couldn't make enough back to cover the cost? What if even with professional help it's nothing more than hobby? What if? So I waited.

Have you ever told God yes, but dragged your feet, maybe almost hoping that He'd get tired of waiting and change His mind? Maybe you tell yourself that you're waiting for a definitive sign - like Gideon with the fleece. That's where I was. I had already told God that I would do it, but I didn't make any move to do it. Finally one day, I sent an email. I told them that I was wanting to publish, but I could only afford to do it at the sale price (and I had dragged my feet long enough that the sale had ended). I didn't realize it at the time, but I was putting out the fleece. If God really wanted me to go on then I would be able to still get the sale price. If not, then maybe it wasn't quite time yet.

Last week, I got a phone call. I normally don't answer numbers I don't recognize, but during Vacation Bible School I do, because as one of the directors the volunteers have my number and may need to get in touch with me. It was Westbow Press. They laid out the package options, talked to me about my genre, told me about the process - and offered me the sale price. Could I doubt any longer that this was the step I was supposed to take? I shocked him speechless when I told him that I was ready and would pay the amount in full.

So as of last week, I officially have a publisher. I will be published by Westbow Press which is a division of Thomas Nelson and Zondervan. If my book does well, either of those companies may pick me up as one of their authors. Having a publisher means that I will have professional help through the publishing process including editing and cover design. I will have marketing for the first time. And I will have physical books! Although I am still nervous, I'm also excited. I know that God has directed my path to this point and I'm looking forward to seeing what He is going to do through this.