Today is my fifteenth wedding anniversary. At fifteen years, we're past the honeymoon phase and we're well into married life. We have three children together and we're in the phase of life where the kids take the majority of our focus and attention. We talk about the past and when it was just the two of us and we look forward to the future when it will be the two of us again, but different this time, yet we enjoy the stage of life we're in - even when it's crazy.
I've been thinking lately about the difference in romance when someone is dating and when they're married. I think that often romance changes when you're married. When we were dating it wasn't uncommon for Joel to buy me flowers, always red roses, but he bought me more flowers in the four plus years we dated than he has in our fifteen years of marriage. Why? Because things change. To be honest, I don't miss those big gestures. I try to focus on finding the romance in the little things.
I find romance in working side by side with Joel, whether that's doing dishes or yard work or cooking. I find it when I see him lovingly teach our children or spending time with them. I find it when we're sitting on the couch with three little ones sprawled all over the top of us as we watch a movie together. I find it when we climb into bed at night, completely exhausted, but secure in the knowledge that he's right next to me.
It's in the friendship we have and the knowledge we have of each other. It's watching his face as he talks and, even though his voice doesn't change, I can tell that he's feeling strong emotions by the way he holds his mouth. It's being able to laugh together often. It's a small touch on the arm or the back as we pass each other. It's talking late into the night because he's still the person I want to tell everything! It's him knowing that I don't like onions and ordering our meal without it just for me. It's knowing that compliments don't come easy for him, so I treasure each one he gives me because I know it was sincere.
It's caring for one another. It's taking care of each other in sickness and in health. He's nursed me after I had my wisdom teeth out, after I had each baby, after I had my gall bladder taken out and through more mild sicknesses like flu, colds and bronchitis, not to mention the times I had to get stitches. I've nursed him through gall bladder issues, diverticulitis, pneumonia and the common illnesses. He knows that when I'm sick, I want him to take the kids somewhere and just let me rest. I check on him when he's sick and keep the kids out of his hair.
It's loving each other for richer or poorer. We've had our financial issues - mostly caused by our own poor decisions and yet we've pulled through them. We've never been rich, but we've been blessed. We had to learn the hard way in a lot of instances, but we learned together.
It's loving for better or worse. We've had moments where our blessings have been so blatantly apparent that we can only praise God for them. We've had moments where we didn't know how we were going to pull through and we could only fall on our knees and plead with God to help us through. In both situations, we also clung to each other. When we're happy, we celebrate together and when we mourn, we weep together. I don't know how often he's held me while I've cried, but I also can't tell you how often he's held me as we've laughed with sheer joy.
I was only nineteen when I made those vows to my husband, but I meant every single word. I plan on being with this man until death parts us. Our romance may have altered through the years, but it's still alive and active. I'm so thankful for the fifteen years we've been blessed with and pray that God gives us many more.
