Music has always had an important role in my life. My family's playlist is eclectic as we all enjoy a variety of music, but most important to me has always been worship music. The lyrical reminder of the promises of God, the praises extolling all of God's goodness and glory, the heart-rending surrender have always spoken to my heart and fixed my mind on Jesus. As I was healing from my depression, God used several songs to pull me out of the pit I was in and to fix my eyes on the truth.
Look What You've Done by Tasha Layton became my anthem and is still one of my favorite songs today. It spoke to my heart in mighty ways when I was entrenched in lies of Satan telling me that I was useless, that I was unloved, that I was unworthy of God's love and sacrifice. In this song, Tasha Layton confronts lies like that head on with a reminder that God is working in us and through us, that His death and resurrection provide healing, and that God's truth has victory over Satan's lies. The line "You spoke Your truth into the lies I let my heart believe" brought me to tears as I realized that I had bought the lies and it was time to allow God's truth to expel those lies, to break new ground, and heal my wounds. In the process, I give God the glory saying, "Look what You've done, God, to bring about my healing, pulling me out of depression."
I was on praise team when See a Victory hit me hard. We had sung the song many times in service and it hadn't really affected me. Through rehearsals, I hadn't had any problems at all. In the middle of service, the words became very real to me and I started to cry. I'll admit that a vain part of me hoped I wasn't ugly crying since services are recorded, but mostly I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by the lyrics. My victory over depression was because the battle belongs to the Lord. He is the only reason that I can triumph over the difficulties in life, and I'm thankful for His strength. The bridge hit hard as well. "You take what the enemy meant for evil, and You turn it for good." Satan tried to destroy me with lies. He tried to tear apart my family. He tried to make me question my value and worth. But God turned it for good. He brought me out of my depression and kept my family intact, even helping relationships to be stronger than before. Through my struggles, I can encourage others who are battling the same thing. I'm sure that there are many more ways that God is using this and will use it, and I'm so grateful that God can take such a horrible time in my life and make it into something good and valuable.
Not only is this song a powerful fight song, it's packed with truth. Overcomer reminds us that we can overcome the trials in this life, not through our strength, but because "the One who overcame death is living inside of you". It reminds me of 2 Corinthians 4:17-18. "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." I know it doesn't seem 'light' and 'momentary' when we go through it. I struggled with my depression for about three years. It did not feel like a temporary and insignificant struggle, but it was working to prepare me for eternal things. In comparison with eternity, that stretch of time is just a blip on my timeline.
When it felt like I was battling my depression all alone, God was still there. He didn't leave me ever! That's the promise of Not for a Moment by Meredith Andrews. We don't have 'feel' God to know He is there. We don't have to 'hear' Him to know He is here. God promised He would never forsake us, and He never leaves us even for a moment. It doesn't matter what our state of mind is, what we've done, God is there. "In my hurt, at my worst, when my world falls down, not for a moment will You forsake me."
I could probably pick hundreds of songs that God has used in my life, but I'll stop there. I'm so thankful that God created music for us. I'm thankful for the singers and songwriters who can express truth so eloquently. I'm so thankful that the Holy Spirit speaks to hearts in many ways, including through worship. In the darkness, in the struggles, God used music to bring power and strength to my life, to remind me of the truth of His love and presence in my life.
“Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”
