As I entered into the Christmas season, I knew that it would be easy for me lose sight of the wonder of the celebration. The story of Christmas is one that we hear every year. Being raised in the church, I've heard it every single year of my life, and likely multiple times in each year in different ways - through advent readings and devotionals, church services, performances, and even fiction books. So I prayed that this year God would make the story fresh for me, that He would let it hit me in a way that would bring my focus back to Him. He answered in a way that was completely unexpected (as He often does), and instead of focusing on the manger, turned my focus to the cross.
There were two things that have stood out to me during this time. The first was the magnitude of His sacrifice. One of my co-workers was in charge of chapel this month and she turned the focus to the reason why Jesus came. Her point was that we have - in her words - 'frou-frouized' Christmas and made it all about the cute baby and animals and forgotten the purpose behind His birth. She showed a video that ended with scenes from The Passion of the Christ and restricted chapel to 3rd-8th grade because of a concern about how graphic the images were. (You can see it here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmGfaEtVWvA) As I watched the images of a depiction of Jesus's sacrifice my eyes filled with tears. My mind went back to a book I read a while back that had a chapter about the scientific and historical details of crucifixion and how much reading those details affected me, because we have sanitized the crucifixion and our pictures of it are completely inaccurate. (If you haven't read The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel by the way, I highly recommend it.) Crucifixion was cruel, and a horrible way to die. It was so painful that there was not a word strong enough to describe the pain and they had to invent a word - excruciating!
Even as this filled my mind though, the wonder of His willingness to go through all of that for me, for my sins, absolutely astounded me. When I got back to my classroom, I asked my 5th graders who would take the punishment for their siblings who had lied. Not a single one of them would. I told them that they weren't willing to take time out, or a grounding, or a spanking for their siblings, whom they love (in spite of any annoyances), yet Jesus took the death penalty for the sins of me, you, and everyone who has ever lived on this earth or will ever live on this earth while we were still His enemies. I'll tell you that this season I became very aware of how little I am willing to sacrifice myself even for those I love. I am not willing to take a punishment for somebody else's sins. We all hope that we would sacrifice ourselves in a noble cause if it arose - saving someone from a fire, or saving a child from being hit by a car, or being a war hero and protecting our fellow soldiers, but nobody would think it a noble death to die in place of a serial killer, or a rapist. Yet Jesus did that. He died for me, for my sins.
Which led me to my second moment of wonder - how unworthy I am. I was saved when I was four years old. I've been in church my whole life. I was baptized at age nine. I've never had a huge rebellious period in my life, never committed 'big' sins. It's easy to think that dying for me wasn't that big of a deal, to even believe that maybe I was entitled to salvation. How arrogant! Yet while I was teaching I read this verse from Isaiah, "And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” It hit me hard! When anyone stands in the presence of the Almighty God, the only possible reaction is a realization of how unworthy they are. And I stood there in front of my class with tears in my eyes recognizing how unworthy I am of the sacrifice that Jesus made for me! Because we have direct access to God through Jesus, because He has given us the right to be adopted in His family and the privilege of calling Him Abba, Father, we sometimes lose the wonder of God. We lose that awe and reverence and fear because we like to think of Him in human terms, but when we see Him as He really is, when we are aware of Who He is, there is only one response - woe is me! Because we are not worthy to stand in His presence, not worthy to be His children, not worthy of His sacrifice. There is absolutely nothing I have ever done that made me worth the cost of Jesus's sacrifice. And yet - He loved me enough to die for me even though I was not worthy.
And He loves you the same way. There is nothing that you can do that makes you worthy of God's love - not giving to the poor, not church attendance, not baptism, not good works, NOTHING! He did it all. His magnificent, horrendous sacrifice was the only thing that can redeem you. Do you believe that? This Christmas season can take on a whole new meaning for you as the time that you realized that though you are unworthy of the sacrifice, God gave His Son for you. It can be your adoption day! Let go of your life and give it to God!
Merry Christmas! I pray that the wonder of the season washes over you in a new way this year.
“Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by
permission. All rights reserved.”
