When a Book is Done

I just finished writing my seventh book. I've gone beyond being surprised that this is what I do to having a sense of familiarity - most of the time.

As I'm finishing writing a book there's always a moment of a feeling that this has been a complete waste of my time, that I've written a story that makes no sense and serves no purpose. It's a feeling that I have to power through. I remind myself that I'm where I believe God wants me to be, and if I'm doing what He wants me to, then it's never worthless. So I finish it regardless of my feelings.

When it's completed I do a read through to correct any errors I find in grammar or plot. Sometimes I may add more detail that I didn't have at the time of writing. I may add another scene or two. Usually as I read through it I have a sense of re-reading a much beloved book, one written by someone else. I'm astounded that a story that I would love to read came from me. It's an odd feeling.

After that, I send it out to my editors. When I read through my books, I know what I meant to say so I sometimes miss obvious typos. My brain automatically fixes what I wrote, and I don't even see it. So I have multiple eyes check my work before I publish it. They also tell me when they don't understand something or when I've changed a name or a plot point and didn't fix it throughout. Even with four of us going through the work, I know that we don't catch every mistake, but we do our best. Considering we're all amateurs I think we do pretty well.

When I get their notes back, I fix my errors and get the book formatted to be published. I add a table of contents, add a letter to my readers a dedication page, and a Bible verse. I go order a cover to be made. Then I'm ready to post it on Amazon Kindle and it's available to purchase.

My seventh book is my second Christmas novella. I'm hoping to have it available to purchase by November. This is the first book that when I've finished I feel like I missed something somewhere. I don't know where it is, but I just sense that there was a point that I was on the verge of making that somehow got missed - maybe that I missed the point of the whole book. There's also a major plot point that I got to the end and feel like it just doesn't work. I've never had this before and honestly it makes me nervous. I wonder if it wasn't the time for me to work on this story, or if I've gotten so comfortable with the process that maybe I didn't rely on God as much as normal, and so He wasn't leading like He has. This story has been on my mind for three years, and yet it's caused me so much difficulty. I don't know what I'm going to discover when I go to do the read through.

I never like to start the read through. It's always a bit frightening to read what I've written because I'm scared that I'll find out it wasn't as good as I thought it was. But what happens when you're not even sure it's any good? It's going to be hard to make myself sit down and look through it.

If you would, I would like some prayer. Prayer does amazing things, and when we all band together and pray in unison, it's even more awesome. Pray that God will direct as I do my read through. I want everything I do to honor and glorify Him. I don't want this to be done in my strength and my ability. I want Him to shine through in every page. Pray that I am open to His leading. Pray that this story will touch lives somehow. This is my goal. It's all meaningless if it doesn't honor God.

Abba, Father

We just celebrated Father's Day, and I have been blessed to have some amazing fathers in my life. My  father, my grandfathers, my father-in-law and my husband are all men who I love to celebrate on this holiday because of the way that they have guided, loved, protected, and cared for me and my children. I got to thinking this year about how they remind me of how God is my Father.

Growing up, I quickly learned that one of my father's roles was disciplinarian. My dad likes to tell people about how early I found out that a sweet little "I love you, Daddy" could get me out of trouble, but it didn't take long before my dad saw through my actions and realized that he had to discipline me. He loved me and he needed to teach me right from wrong. My dad likes to explain the difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is training one to act a certain way. It can involve punishment, or it can be encouragement, advice, or direction. Punishment is a penalty for an offense committed. Punishment without discipline is a dangerous way to parent. Giving a penalty for an offense without guidance in why the behavior was wrong, what the better choice would have been, and an assurance of love is not likely to succeed in long term behavioral changes. More likely it will cause rebellion. But when punishment is coupled with discipline a child learns from their mistakes and understands why they are being punished. My dad always talked to us when he had to punish us. To be honest, that was the worst part of the punishment for me because I couldn't stand knowing that I had let my dad down. He would discuss with us what we had done, what we should have done, and let us know that he loved us - and then he would hand out the punishment that we deserved. It's not a fun part of parenting, but it's an important part. God is a disciplinarian. Hebrews 12:6 says, "For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It's because of His love for us that He disciplines us, and He only punishes those that belong to Him. A parent only disciplines their own child. It's a sign that we are children of God when we've been chastened by Him. Sometimes it might be a gentle a prod, a reminder of Scripture, an admonition from a friend or loved one. Sometimes it might be more serious - oftentimes it's the normal consequences of our actions. The difference between God and my earthly father is that my dad eventually had to allow me to go out in the world and not be directly under his authority anymore. I am always under God's authority! The author of Hebrews goes on to say in verse 10, "For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness." I will never be perfect on this earth, but God will always be correcting me to continue teaching me what it means to be holy.

I was born into my earthly family. I belonged to them because of genetics. My father-in-law sort of "adopted" me into his family. I have his name although I don't have his genetics because I married his son. He has always made me feel as if I truly belonged to the Lyman family. God is my Father, not because I was born into His family. I was born a sinner, separated from God. Instead I was adopted through His grace into His family. Galatians 4:4-7 says, "But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." Although I got the name "Lyman" through marriage, I didn't have to earn it. I didn't have to buy it, pass a test, prove I was worthy, or get a degree. Once I married Joel, I was automatically part of the family. In the same way, I don't earn my position in God's family. I didn't have to give my money, prove I was holy, perform any religious rites, or go to Bible school. God redeemed me  when I was still lost in my sins. As soon as I believed in Him, I became His child. This is my favorite part. I am a daughter of the King of kings and Lord of lords. The Almighty God, Creator of the universe, not only knows who I am, but welcomed me into His family because He loves me. Not only that, but I'm not a second class citizen, but an heir of God! Doesn't that just give you goosebumps? 

Our son is the spitting image of his father. They have the same impish smile, the same twinkling eyes, the same mannerisms - they even walk the same as a friend just pointed out the other day. They share the same DNA. I do not much resemble my Heavenly Father, but one day I will. Every day He is teaching me to be more like Him, but someday our family bond will be apparent to all. In 1 John 3:2 it says, "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is." When He returns, I will be like Him finally and no one will be able to question that I belong to Him. Sometimes I don't look much like Him, and there are people who could say that I must not be part of God's family because they don't see a resemblance. I hate that. But someday, I will look so much like my Father that there will be no doubt that I belong to Him.

One thing that all of the fathers in my life have in common is love. They love me, they love our family, they love my children. It's love that motivates them to be such wonderful fathers - to care, love, protect, guide. It is love that prompted God to adopt us. 1 John 3:1 says, "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him." It was in His love that He gave His life for us. We didn't deserve it, but He loved us anyway. In 1 John 4:19 it says, "We love because he first loved us." It was His love that drew us to Him. He loved us before He created the world! It was only in response to His love that we loved Him back. 1 John 4:7-8 tells us, "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." God loved us because He is love. If we want to look like our Father, we should also demonstrate love. Now, we already read that love doesn't prevent God from disagreeing with us or punishing us. In fact, it's the opposite. God disciplines us because He is love. Our world today doesn't understand that. We can demonstrate God's love even when we disagree. But our love should be so apparent that others can see God in us. 

I know that not everyone got a glimpse of their heavenly Father in their earthly father. The men in my life aren't perfect any more than I am perfect. They did their best, but they sometimes made mistakes. When we brought home our first child from the hospital, my husband told me that we had to understand that we were going to make mistakes, but we had to pray that whatever mistakes we made wouldn't be severe. Maybe  your dad didn't resemble God at all. Maybe you didn't have a dad around. Even if you never got a chance to experience these things in a human father, you can still experience it in God. 

Happy Father's Day!

Publishing Package

I took a leap of faith. It's scary and it will be a while before I see what happens from this decision. Right now, my writing is more a hobby than anything else. Yes, I get paid, but the amount I get from book sales basically covers the cost of hiring someone to design my book covers. So it was time to see if writing is ever going to be my occupation or will always be a hobby.

In publishing today, they don't accept unsolicited manuscripts - at least not often. You either need to hire an agent or prove yourself by publishing independently. Publishing on Kindle is cost effective, but it's easy to get lost and hard to get noticed. Publishing with a company is expensive, but you get professional services included. I've done Kindle and it was a fantastic way for me to start. When I first put Best Laid Plans on Kindle, it was the scariest thing I've ever done. Here was a work that I had spent years on. I had put part of myself into it. Now, it was available for anyone to purchase, to read, to judge, to criticize. It placed me in a vulnerable position - and I hate being vulnerable.

Readers have been kind to me though. I don't have many reviews, but the ones that I have are positive and any negative comments are thoughtful and helpful. My fears were unfounded and I've become comfortable. I've found that God doesn't let you remain comfortable for very long. Soon He asks you to take another step of faith. I don't know if others have this issue, but God has to prod me into the next step every single time. I like my little comfort zone and stepping out is scary. God pokes me, urges me, send others to poke me and urge me, until finally I recognize what needs to happen and I (tentatively) step forward.

My husband and I had been saving some money for a vacation, but one thing after another happened that made it impossible for us to go. One day, Joel noticed that we had enough saved up for a publishing package from a professional company. He suggested that we use the vacation money for that instead. Right after that, one of the self-publishing companies got in contact with me and was having a sale. It just seemed too coincidental to be ignored. When Joel asked me if I'd thought about it I had to admit that things seemed to be lining up for me to move forward.

Yet, I still hesitated.

I was comfy. I was content. I was curious to see what would happen, and I definitely wanted to hold one of my books in my hand. But just like when I published my first book, the fears rose. What if I couldn't make enough back to cover the cost? What if even with professional help it's nothing more than hobby? What if? So I waited.

Have you ever told God yes, but dragged your feet, maybe almost hoping that He'd get tired of waiting and change His mind? Maybe you tell yourself that you're waiting for a definitive sign - like Gideon with the fleece. That's where I was. I had already told God that I would do it, but I didn't make any move to do it. Finally one day, I sent an email. I told them that I was wanting to publish, but I could only afford to do it at the sale price (and I had dragged my feet long enough that the sale had ended). I didn't realize it at the time, but I was putting out the fleece. If God really wanted me to go on then I would be able to still get the sale price. If not, then maybe it wasn't quite time yet.

Last week, I got a phone call. I normally don't answer numbers I don't recognize, but during Vacation Bible School I do, because as one of the directors the volunteers have my number and may need to get in touch with me. It was Westbow Press. They laid out the package options, talked to me about my genre, told me about the process - and offered me the sale price. Could I doubt any longer that this was the step I was supposed to take? I shocked him speechless when I told him that I was ready and would pay the amount in full.

So as of last week, I officially have a publisher. I will be published by Westbow Press which is a division of Thomas Nelson and Zondervan. If my book does well, either of those companies may pick me up as one of their authors. Having a publisher means that I will have professional help through the publishing process including editing and cover design. I will have marketing for the first time. And I will have physical books! Although I am still nervous, I'm also excited. I know that God has directed my path to this point and I'm looking forward to seeing what He is going to do through this.

Joy Story

Our Vacation Bible School for church has been occupying a lot of my time and thought right now. My sister and I co-direct the program so we've been plenty busy. I love VBS. I love hearing the kids sing songs, watching them play games, seeing the crafts they've made - to me it's a joyful time in itself. But the best part about VBS is teaching the kids about the Bible. This year our focus is on joy and in our world today where people pursue pleasure at all costs, I think it's important for our kids to distinguish between happiness and joy.

Happiness is fleeting, it's circumstantial. When I'm relaxing by the pool, that's happiness. Or when I see my children do something wonderful, that's happiness. When my husband surprises me with a gift that I've been wanting, that's happiness. All those things make me happy in themselves, but take all of it away. Am I happy in the every day toils of life? Am I happy when my kids can't find their shoes and we're ten minutes late - again? Am I happy when my husband doesn't pick up on those clever little hints that I've been leaving for him? Probably not. I'm probably more tired, frustrated, angry, or disappointed. Happiness is surface level emotion.

Joy is deeper, long lasting. It's internal, not based on what's going on around us. Even while I'm doing my daily routine, I can have joy. When my kids are frustrating me, I can still have joy. When I'm disappointed, I can still have joy. When health fails, there can be joy. When loved ones pass away, there an be joy. When life seems to fall apart, there can be joy.

God created us for joy - both for His own joy and for us to experience joy. Sin obviously messed with joy, but it couldn't extinguish it completely. It still gives God joy when a new name is written in the Book of Life. It gives Him joy when a prodigal son returns. It gives Him joy to welcome His children home to Heaven. On earth, His Spirit can give us joy - it's part of the fruit of the Spirit! We can be identified as believers - unique and separate from the world - when we exhibit a joy that does not come from ourselves, but from God.

We can choose joy. Sometimes God sets something wonderful in front of us, but it looks scary and so we choose not to take it. Yet if we had gone forward, we would have experienced joy that we never even knew. The Children of Israel were on the verge of entering the Promised Land, but it looked too hard and they chose not to go in. Instead of receiving the joy from God's gift to them, they had to wander the wilderness for forty years. We can do the same thing. God will set something before us, but we choose not to follow Him and then we suffer the consequences. We can also choose to have joy in difficult situations. Paul and Silas were beaten and in prison and yet were able to sing. That's joy.

Sometimes it seems like the cost of joy is too much. The rich young ruler turned away from Jesus, because the cost was too great for him. Yet if he had followed, he would have experienced true joy that he would never find in his possessions. God may call us to give more than we feel like we can afford. He may call us to give of our time, or serve someone that we find difficult. Or maybe He takes us away from a ministry that we love to move us to another area of service. It may seem like the price is too high, but if we relinquish it to Him, we will see how much more He can give in return.

The best part about joy, is that joy is found in grace. When Jesus came and sacrificed His life for our own, He bridged the gap between God and man. Now we can have access to God, we h ave the gift of the Holy Spirit, and we have life eternal - if we believe in Jesus. Romans 10:9-10 says, "because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved." That is something to be joyful about.

Because of that, there is also joy to come. Someday we will be reunited with God. Pain, sickness, death will be no more. We will dwell in a place of beauty and be face to face with the One who created us for joy in the first place. Only then will we truly understand what true joy is. Joy on this earth is impossible without God, but joy will take on a whole new meaning when we finally enter His presence.

This is what we get to teach our children. That life is more that our circumstances. That joy is found even in the most difficult times. That God wants us to experience joy to its fullest. Getting to teach our children about these things - now that gives me joy.