I took a leap of faith. It's scary and it will be a while before I see what happens from this decision. Right now, my writing is more a hobby than anything else. Yes, I get paid, but the amount I get from book sales basically covers the cost of hiring someone to design my book covers. So it was time to see if writing is ever going to be my occupation or will always be a hobby.
In publishing today, they don't accept unsolicited manuscripts - at least not often. You either need to hire an agent or prove yourself by publishing independently. Publishing on Kindle is cost effective, but it's easy to get lost and hard to get noticed. Publishing with a company is expensive, but you get professional services included. I've done Kindle and it was a fantastic way for me to start. When I first put Best Laid Plans on Kindle, it was the scariest thing I've ever done. Here was a work that I had spent years on. I had put part of myself into it. Now, it was available for anyone to purchase, to read, to judge, to criticize. It placed me in a vulnerable position - and I hate being vulnerable.
Readers have been kind to me though. I don't have many reviews, but the ones that I have are positive and any negative comments are thoughtful and helpful. My fears were unfounded and I've become comfortable. I've found that God doesn't let you remain comfortable for very long. Soon He asks you to take another step of faith. I don't know if others have this issue, but God has to prod me into the next step every single time. I like my little comfort zone and stepping out is scary. God pokes me, urges me, send others to poke me and urge me, until finally I recognize what needs to happen and I (tentatively) step forward.
My husband and I had been saving some money for a vacation, but one thing after another happened that made it impossible for us to go. One day, Joel noticed that we had enough saved up for a publishing package from a professional company. He suggested that we use the vacation money for that instead. Right after that, one of the self-publishing companies got in contact with me and was having a sale. It just seemed too coincidental to be ignored. When Joel asked me if I'd thought about it I had to admit that things seemed to be lining up for me to move forward.
Yet, I still hesitated.
I was comfy. I was content. I was curious to see what would happen, and I definitely wanted to hold one of my books in my hand. But just like when I published my first book, the fears rose. What if I couldn't make enough back to cover the cost? What if even with professional help it's nothing more than hobby? What if? So I waited.
Have you ever told God yes, but dragged your feet, maybe almost hoping that He'd get tired of waiting and change His mind? Maybe you tell yourself that you're waiting for a definitive sign - like Gideon with the fleece. That's where I was. I had already told God that I would do it, but I didn't make any move to do it. Finally one day, I sent an email. I told them that I was wanting to publish, but I could only afford to do it at the sale price (and I had dragged my feet long enough that the sale had ended). I didn't realize it at the time, but I was putting out the fleece. If God really wanted me to go on then I would be able to still get the sale price. If not, then maybe it wasn't quite time yet.
Last week, I got a phone call. I normally don't answer numbers I don't recognize, but during Vacation Bible School I do, because as one of the directors the volunteers have my number and may need to get in touch with me. It was Westbow Press. They laid out the package options, talked to me about my genre, told me about the process - and offered me the sale price. Could I doubt any longer that this was the step I was supposed to take? I shocked him speechless when I told him that I was ready and would pay the amount in full.
So as of last week, I officially have a publisher. I will be published by Westbow Press which is a division of Thomas Nelson and Zondervan. If my book does well, either of those companies may pick me up as one of their authors. Having a publisher means that I will have professional help through the publishing process including editing and cover design. I will have marketing for the first time. And I will have physical books! Although I am still nervous, I'm also excited. I know that God has directed my path to this point and I'm looking forward to seeing what He is going to do through this.
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