My pastor did a mini-series on how we are created for connection. The first two sermons were easy. Life is better connected to Jesus. Check! Life is better connected to the church. Check! Then came the last sermon. Life is better connected to one another. Hm.
The past two years have created isolation in ways that we never could have predicted. Yet studies have shown that the people who come through trauma the best are those who have strong connections to others. It's no wonder that we have struggled collectively throughout this pandemic.
For me personally, I've been struggling with some pretty severe depression for the past couple of years. Most of the people in my life probably never saw it, because I was pretty good at putting on my happy face around others. My husband and my children - yeah, they noticed. I couldn't keep up the front at home. You know what makes depression worse? Isolation. Trying to solve it on my own only plummeted me further into darkness.
Remember the story of Moses where as long as he held up the staff, the Israelites would win the battle, but if he brought his arms down, the tides turned against them? Moses wasn't physically capable of holding the staff up long enough for the battle to be won. Fortunately, he had two friends who were able to help. Aaron and Hur first placed a rock under him, and then they held up his arms for him. Because of their help, the Israelites were able to win the battle.
Having the support of friends can help us through the battles we face. As I listened to this story being told by my pastor, he challenged us to think of friends that we had which would be our Aaron and Hur. I couldn't think of anyone. Not because I don't have people around me who would help whenever or however I needed it, but because I refuse to ask for help. Through the past few years, I could have reached out to any of several people who would have gladly prayed for me, guided me, counseled me, supported me, but instead I tried to keep my arms raised by myself. And I couldn't do it! I even pushed my husband aside and wouldn't allow him to help me. Why? I'm not entirely sure, but I think part of it at least is pride. I don't want to have to rely on others. I can do it myself. Fear is another factor, because if I become vulnerable with others, then they can hurt me. Past pain has shaped me with that one, but it doesn't justify my actions.
Even introverts like me need to be connected to others. The Bible is full of instructions to meet together, to bear one another's burdens, to come alongside those who need help. While I will gladly hold up others in any way I can, I refuse to accept that help for myself. I need to stop looking at the community I have around me as those who need my help, and instead also see them as people who can support me.
Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-jigsaw-puzzle-illustration-262488/
