Thursday, October 8, 2015

What to Pray?


I just finished a Bible study by Kay Arthur called "Lord, Teach Me to Pray". In it she goes through the Lord's Prayer and shows how each phrase is a topic sentence that shows some aspect of how we ought to pray (ie: worship, petition, confession, etc.)

When we got to the part about making our requests to God I felt challenged to think about how I pray for my books. My first thought was that I really don't pray for my books or sales often. I thought about why that might be. The first reason was that I already feel so blessed. My husband has a job that allows me to stay home. We have all our needs - food, shelter, clothing - abundantly met. Besides our needs we have plenty of wants met as well! How could I ask for more? In some ways it feels selfish to ask for more. But deep down there was something more than just this. I found myself hesitating to ask, because I was afraid He would say no. How could I be disappointed to be denied something I never asked for? I couldn't. So if I didn't ask, then He couldn't say no and I wouldn't be disappointed.

When I realized this rationalization, this passage came to mind:  Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.  Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he?  If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! (Matthew 7:7-11) God wants to give me good things and He already has. He may not ever give me an actual publisher, but if He doesn't, it isn't because He's stingy or being mean, it's because He has something better. I may never sell amazing quantities of my books, but if not, He has something better than that, too. The bottom line is that He wants me to ask! He may say no, but He wants me to talk with Him about it and share with Him my desires and dreams. 

Which led me to another soul-searching moment. Why do I ask to be published or to have more book sales? Do I crave fame or wealth? Do I want to receive recognition or glory? Or do I want to use it as a way to tell people about Jesus, a way to give God honor and glory? James 4:3 talks about why some prayers are unanswered (or really, that God has said no). It says "You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." So I had to ask myself if this was part of my problem. I don't think I want wealth or fame. Like I said, I already feel so blessed, I can't imagine wanting more and honestly if I want fame, I am writing the wrong genre. I'm never going to make the New York Times best seller list writing Christian romance novels. How about recognition? I have to admit that one of my love languages is words of affirmation - I like to hear encouraging words and get "atta girls", but I'm not sure that even in that I want all the glory. I'm well aware that I am a novice in every sense of the word. Any praise I get belongs to God because I know it's not me! However, I'm also aware that this is a dangerous place for me. As I gain knowledge on how to write, it will be easy to accept the praise for myself. This is something I'm going to have to ask myself often as I continue down this path. 

So what do I ask for? I know God wants me to ask. The tense says that He wants me to keep asking. But according to James I want to ask with the right motives. I also want to be in His will. 1 John 5:14 says, "This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." I want God's will to be done in this. So - I want to ask you to join with me in praying. First, pray that as I write I will have the words that God would have for me. Second, pray that He will get all the honor and glory. Third, pray that God blesses this work in whatever way He knows is best. I appreciate your prayers more than you could know. 

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