While the first "heap of stones" in Joshua was to remind Israel of God's faithfulness, the second was to remind them of their own unfaithfulness and the consequences that arise from it. The Israelites had just defeated Jericho and were feeling pretty confident. So their defeat at Ai came as a shock. When Joshua asked the Lord why they had been defeated, he found that the camp had been defiled. Eventually, it was discovered the Achan had been tempted by the wealth of Jericho and had decided to take some for himself - something that God had specifically told them not to do. Achan was sentenced to death and a heap of stones was placed on top to remind Israel to remain faithful to God.
I have memorial stones set up in my mind at the places where I've experienced God's discipline for several reasons. The first is clear. It reminds me not to go down that road again. I can look back and see the pain I was in, the distance I was from God, the problems that I caused, and know that I never want to experience that again.
Second, those stones remind me to tell others about the experience. Not to glorify my sin, but to teach others not to go down that path. I know that some will have to experience it for themselves, but hopefully there are people who hear my story and change their own course. One of those experiences that I've spoken of before was a time that I struggled with unforgiveness. I had been hurt - repeatedly. I knew that the ones who had done it would never apologize, most likely they didn't even realize what they had done. But I held onto every offense. I lived it over and over and over again. One day I had to admit that I had grown bitter. God reminded me of how much He had forgiven me. How could I not forgive them for the little they had done to me? It wasn't easy. I had grown used to wallowing in self-pity as I replayed all that had been done to me. I sort of enjoyed it in a sick and twisted way. Whenever I started rehashing it all over again, God would nudge me, and I would begin to pray. I would pray that He would help me not only forgive, but forget. I prayed that He would forgive me again. And (perhaps hardest of all) I would pray for the people that hurt me. Today, most of those hurts are just vague, fuzzy memories and many of them, I can't even recall at all. I don't want others to have to suffer through the bitterness that I did if I can help them.
Third it helps to keep me from getting arrogant. It's so easy to find fault in others, and so easy to overlook or excuse my own faults. If I find myself feeling pretty proud of my own "goodness", all it takes is a glance over to the memorial stones of unfaithfulness to remind me that any good in me is from Him. On my own, I'm just a sinner. With Him, I'm a daughter of the King. That's humbling, and helps me to keep my focus on God instead of me.
Just to be clear, these are memorial stones that I glance at on occasion when I need the reminder. I don't go sit at them. I don't set up camp in these places. Nothing good comes from that. Staying long in these places can make one feel like they are incapable of change, and then they find themselves falling again. That guilt that creeps in and tells us that God can't possibly love us because of this is a lie. None of us are "worthy" of God's love, but He gives it anyway. None of us "deserve" to be forgiven, but He offers it freely. He doesn't want us to stay in those places. He wants us to learn and grow. He wants us to move on.
We fail, we fall, but God is faithful. We can look back on our times where we weren't faithful to learn, to teach others and to remain humble. But even in those places, God is faithful. I'm so glad that He is always faithful and that His faithfulness doesn't rely on mine.
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