Thirteen

Yesterday my oldest child turned thirteen. I am now the mother of a teenager and starting a new phase of parenting. Events like this always lead me to reminiscing and reflecting. I thought that I'd share thirteen reflections on parenting in honor of this occasion.

1. Children really are a gift from God. Each one is precious and individual. They have their strengths and weaknesses, but they are blessings.

2. Putting my children in God's hands (and leaving them there) is probably the hardest thing I do. I want to wrap them in a bubble and protect them from all the evils of the world. I lie to myself and think that I know how to best protect them. Then I remember that God is sovereign and almighty, and He can do a much better job than I can.

3. As much as I love my children, God loves them infinitely more. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around this one, but it's much easier to put them in God's hands when I remember this.

4. My children's accomplishments rarely (if ever) have anything to do with me. I'm always proud and amazed at what they can do. God has given my children talent in areas that I do not have, and I think it's so that I can't take credit for their gifts and abilities.

5. Consistency is key. When I tell my children that I will do something I do everything I can to follow through. This works with fun things as well as discipline. When my kids are misbehaving and I tell them that if they don't stop they'll get a privilege taken away, they stop, because they know it'll happen. On the flip side, when I promise a special treat, they know that will happen, too.

6. Time goes so fast. I know, I know. All mothers hear this from the moment they find out they're pregnant. And I was one that when older women would tell me that, I'd smile and nod, and think "Everyone knows that." But you really don't get it until you're looking at your teenager or watching them graduate or seeing them get married. Then it hits you in the gut. "Man, that went fast!"

7. Every stage should be enjoyed. Each one is fleeting. They all have things that are less than enjoyable, but each one has something that can be grasped and cherished.

8. Don't be too busy. I need this reminder all the time. When my child wants to be read to, or needs help, or wants to tell me something, do I take a moment to spend time with them or do I push them aside because something (cleaning, writing, television (ouch)) is more important?

9. Easing up on the reigns is hard. At least for a control freak like me. My daughter is getting to the age where her foundation has been laid, and we've taught her some building skills (hopefully). And now, she gets the opportunity to see if she can build something beautiful. Right now, she still has us watching her and guiding her, but she gets to make more of the decisions on her own. It's hard, but necessary, because soon enough, we're not going to be right beside her any longer, and she's going to need to know that she can succeed when that happens.

10. There are moments when you just stare at your children and your heart is flooded with joy. They aren't doing something spectacular, but simply looking at their face brings me joy.

11. Your children can make you laugh harder than you ever thought possible, and can make you cry harder than you though possible. Those little humans have their moms by their heartstrings and can pull their emotions with the smallest tug.

12. You never stop praying for your child. I started praying before they were born (sometimes before they were conceived). You pray for their health, for school, for their spiritual life, for their emotional hurts, for their future.

13. A mother's love is a reflection of God's love. The Bible talks about God longing to gather His children under His wings like a mama hen. He wants to nurture us, protect us, and love us. His love is unconditional and everlasting. A mom's love is amazing, but it's only a dim look at what God's love is.

The time I have left with my daughter under my care is numbered. I'll never get this time back. Each day, each moment is precious. What am I going to do with the time I have?